One more down. a close one.

Hi.

I lost another of my friend. this time round its somebody closer. My secondary school best friend. We never saw each other again til this year sometime within the last three months. She was really fine then. What happened? I need to go and find out more. Its getting scarier each time. I can't imagine such gruesome things happened in my life. Its reality, not a drama. How i wish it really was not reality. But its kinda hard to accept the fact. Not till i've seen for myself. But somehow I felt myself being numbed of my emotions.


When i heard the news broadcast yesterday, it did'nt occur to me that it was her. The Holy Spirit prompted me saying that it was somebody I knew. I took forgranted and did not bother to find out who it was. It was so sudden I don't really know how to deal with my emotions. I was sobbing during econs lecture earlier on, and I really did'nt know how to face up to this.

In my heart, I was just thinking how i should react to this incident. Its too coincidental that there's so many death among my circle of friends occuring. The Lord is trying to tell me something. The only thing that I really regretted was not bringing the dead to church. I tried, but could hv tried harder. But then again, life suddenly seems so fragile to me. I can't fathom the thought how i was going to cope with another incident. Will I be void of my emotions over again? Life seems so meaningless to me now.

You may ask me how i felt abt the murderer. Of course I felt that he should be punished severely, if i were'nt a christian, I would go aft him at all cost. but because I carry the name of the Lord, God has softened that spot in my heart. He has forbidden that i'd deal with hatred. Thus, I'm not concerned abt this evil, wicked indispicable man whose blood of the child of God is in his hands! I live to love, so I'm really concerned for the parents of Ashley. Her mum especially. I'll look for her. I'll do something after this. I need to find out and just be there for the mother of my friend. It burdens my heart. Now, her parents don't need to fight over finances and all already.

Back to my thoughts. God has wonderfully lifted my sorrows cause I believed God has warned me abt these events beforehand, that I may not be too affected by the dead but living. I look forward to the day where I'll meet Jeev in heaven when i'm old. I was reading my bible this morning, where Jonathan who was so close to David died. God has set my path in place, that I may seek Him before anything else. God has become my comfort. He has become my cushion and even if i were die I'll die for the cause of my Lord and saviour Jesus Christ.


If something happens to me, the only wish and desire I have in heart is to see my friends and relatives saved in Jesus Christ. My Grandfather, Uncle, classmates, ex-classmates, friends, people around me. For me, I live for Christ, and i know that if God takes me home, I'm sure to go heaven for eternity. I may fear death now, but I fear God more than anything else. The devil may take my body, but God takes my soul. The reason why I want to see all that I know coming to Christ is for the single wish to see them all worshipping and fellowshipping with God and us all. I rather we see ourselves in heaven than seeing these people in hell. Its for eternal. I'm carrying a burden of spreading the gospel with the people around me seriously for now.

I know my friend is gonna live in heaven just like Jonathan, the friend whom David loved. My joy is in the Lord, and my friend is in the Lord although she's a catholic, but I believed God has touched in her life. I'm gonna pray and intercede.


Love, Hannah 2.0