still trying to smile even five days after you've been gone

This is my dog Rover. He is a Japanese spitx mix, and has lived with my family for the past 9 to 10 years, since we adopted him from his previous owner at 5 years old. Sadly, he passed away on tuesday, due to liver disease, and we were really saddened by this loss even though we anticipated that he wouldn't be living long. It is sad because i'm so used to having Rover there to cheer me up even though he wasn't exactly a very obedient dog. However, his very fluffy and different attitude cheered me up everytime i felt low, when i had so much problems in secondary school, in Jc and even with my family. Rover, was the only living thing at home who got away with everything even if he made mistakes. Probably because he is a dog and ignorant of so many things, everyone at home has a soft spot for him. I remember how i would worship God while playing piano, and i would be tearing, and Rover would come and lick my knee. And i remember how my family was out and Rover would sneak into the room where my mum hid a box of JCO donuts, and he would eat them up and leave traces of the crumbs in the room, and all over his mouth would be pink and brown icing. Another time, he was so curious to see the world he jump off the back of a pick-up mum was driving along the expressway and was hanging loosely from his leash tied to the railing of the pick-up. Thank God he didn't lose his life there as I quickly ran over to pick him up after he managed to free himself from his leash and dropped at the road shoulder along the expressway. After that the Rover in shocked regained his consciousness and started growling and braking at everyone in the car just like he was scolding us for putting him behind alone. Other times just brings more tears to my eyes, as i remember bathing him when he was younger, and accidentally cutting his skin off his ear while i was trying to cut the matted fur away, though it was painful, Rover screamed, but he didn't bite me. I felt so bad, i had to press his head to my heart and said sorry to him. Many times i would bring him out with me, to the reservoir where he would chase monkeys and try to be their friends. Once i even brought him to holland V, and because of the crowd there, he was so afraid, he hid behind me legs, and I had to carry him in my arms. In the last days, i tried to bring out for a walk before he left, but he didn't want to as he feared us abandoning him like his previous owner. i didn't want Rover to think that we didn't love him so i brought him back into the house. The day the family had reunion dinner out, Rover was home alone, and he started crying so when we came back, i spotted a tear strain from his eyes to his snout. That was the last time i saw Rover walk around happily before he was paralyzed. Rover was a smart dog, and he was also adorable even though he was naughty. I also remember the times where he wanted to sleep near somebody, and would come into our room to sleep. And the times nearing the later days of his life, where he would scream in the middle of the night because his inside was hurting. I would always remember his fighting spirit, where even after he was unable to move due to his joints being worn off and his lower back being paralyzed, he still braved himself through everything and fight to leave until the moment he decided to finish his last breath and wagged his tail for one last time (when he hadn't done so for very long) to my mum and he gave his last breath and finally died on tuesday 26 feb 2013, around 10 plus am, when i was having my macroeconomics paper. i didn't get to see him that morning because i stayed over my boyfriend's house to study for my paper. I should have. That's why the last time i bid Rover goodbye and kissed him on his forehead was on the 24th morning before i left for school. I kissed him and goodbye, and said i love you Rover. Rover, you are the apple of everybody's eyes, and i think the reason why you left was because you know we couldn't afford to keep you longer. You were a lovable dog and we really love you. Take care now my doggy, and always remember that Jesus loves you. Be a good dog when you are at doggie heaven and don't start biting people there k. love you very very much! we will remember you and smile at the times you were so blur yet adorable! :') Goodbye Ro ro!! Love, Hannah jie jie