time to take risks. no more turning back

heys.

Felt like i've just been chaffed to the ends of the earth. Cornered to the very maximum of life, so much so that i don't even know what i'm going to do now. I just received a letter from the Ministry of Education and this is what's on it:

Thank you for attending the interview for a teaching position. We appreciate your interest and enthusiasm in applying for a teaching position. We have had a good crop of candidates who applied. After considering you with all the other shortlisted applicants, we regret to inform you that the Ministry is unable to offer you a teaching appointment, We wish you all the best in your future endeavours.

Honest feelings, my heart sank when i read this letter. I recalled the interview, and i evaluated it over again. Did i say something wrong? Had i failed to truly express my passion for wanting to be a teacher? Did i perhaps reveal pieces of immuturity or did the panel think that i was too "child-like" to teach. Perhaps i wasn't very well prepared to take on all these challenges.

This has been going on for quite sometime already,and i feel so insecure about life. It felt like i've been suddenly pushed with a load full of burdens to be concerned about. And the uncertainty comes when i am not even sure of my progress in life. "Dreamer", indeed i've been labelled this many times before, but i've overcomed that so many times before. What about now? Why is it that now i'm losing it all? i feel like i've been pushed to the pits of life, where i am not supposed to be at. Then, my thought is this, God, are you testing me???

Nevertheless, i still trust in God no matter what comes. Its just that i am worried for what is to come. I need to start shifting focus, and be prepared. Whatever it takes to grow up, i need to. Be a person of convictions, character, far-sighted and mature. Don't feel, just do. I cannot be a burden anymore.

Welcome to the black hole of life, Hannah, nonetheless, you shall emerge victorious. :)

Don't stop running!!! :)

Love,
Hannah
AnEBFG