Undefined by what others think of me. :) i lead my life the way i want it to be. I hold the power. But i CHOOSE to yield it to God. :)

Hey! I'm On my way home and listening to muttons to midnight. Love listening to their show cos they have a certain level of good humour. But then again, its always better to hear songs of the spiritual. :) well, went for leaders mtg earlier on, and i'm gonna know more about people. I start by first becoming a people's person. So, i'm blogging now! :D met yu hong from B41 earlier on, and really wanna know this person better. Gonna pull him closer. Also, thinking about what Sam shared during cg earlier on, i think its really true that if we want growth, we need to love. Its beyond just the human means of shallow loving. its loving beyond my human capacity. Beyond something i can give as a human. That reminds me of people whom i've not spoken to for ages. Then, i'm still gonna work my way up. Can't afford to let distractions interfere in my life. There's so much more for me to STAND in the gap, but education plays an important role in order for me to come up another level. I wanna come full fledge after i graduate from yjc. I say t God, wait for me, i'm running after you! :) know that in this phase of life, issues get uncertain for me, to be honest, i don't even know if we will still have a roof over our heads. But, i'm not gonna let this stop me from growing stronger in God! Gotta let the brain juice flow man. Speaking of which, also i'm thinking about how pastor How's birthday is approaching, and i really wanna honour him. I hv the best pastors on earth! Not gonna trade the world for them. And i really wanna honour them. Wondering what i can do for them. Haha. Going home t pray abt it. :)

Love,
Hannah
AnEBFG
*today's code: i live my life undefined by what or who ppl place me upon. :) don't be stifled by these obstacle! If there's a will, there'll b a way. But above all these, i CHOOSE to yield my life to God. :)

Knock you down

Sometimes love comes around, and it knocks you down, just get back up when it knocks you down. Loving is not an easy task, yet i will persist. Yeah not giving up on these ppl, these lives. Even more so, love of my life. Will go on. :)

Something new. :)

Hey!
Now i'm currently inputing my thoughts into here via my handphone! Isn't it cool? Fun aside, now i'm listening t the song new divide by linkin park- theme song of transformers. I think it fits perfectly well for my stance today. I guess my dear friend just does'nt understand. She's too proud t anw. I shan'nt bother abt this person anymore. If she can't take a friend's genuine words seriously, then forget it. I'm just moving on in life, feeling like the biggest loser right now. I'll get over it soon. God is good.
He'll see me through this tough season in life, i gotta start sowing much too. Anw, i was having a great time with Ping lynn hanging out at j8 cafe cartel earlier on. It was great talking abt spiritual things with this girl. She's so gonna grow. :) i'm gonna build Angie, Albert, Kirk n Chun kit strong too! :) its impossible by my works, but totally possible with God! :) there r no boundaries! Then, also i miss hanging out with my leaders. I really feel so out of touch with them sometimes. They went t play bbal! I did'nt noe anything abt it, so sad. But i thank God tt at least time spent today was great with Ping. :) i was thinking earlier on, should i ever get married one day, i'd definitely wanna marry the best person for me, its meaningless coming t realise tt i married the wrong person n end up regretting my decision. I would rather wait for the best than settle for second best. To me, i'd only take the best or have none at all. Thus, i'm gonna start focusing on God n the dreams He's given me. :) i'm gonna work hard, earn lots of money t support church n my family man. I'm also going 2b a Pst nx time! Worship pastor, tts my calling, the dream God has given me. I will not give up bcos of some stupid obstacles in my life. Keep fighting n striving on Hannah!! From God i was born, to God i will return! :)

P.s. I'm gonna live n draw closer t God when i wake up in the morning! Man don't matter no more. God matters more. MC ROCKS! ;)

Love,
Hannah
AnEBFG

how awesome is this place! :)

Hey!

got home for quite sometime already. My immediate response? play a few keys on the piano -to the tune of still. Had an awesome quiet time with God in the park on my way home. Though it was only for a very very short while, i got my focus right back on top with God. :) God has indeed assured me once again that He cares. He will look to my needs when i begin to focus on Him. Know, as i begin to build myself in God in this season, God has been impressing on me time and over again that the further i climb, the more humble i must get. The lesson on being humble in every circumstance. Humbleness. Humbly we began, humbly we end. Now, for more heart to heart session with God after i complete washing the dishes, hanging the laundry, preparing my uniform, packing my schoolbag, and finally bathing, then resting for the night! Gonna LIVE LIVE LIVE! Working even harder than before. that is what pastor Lia said.. to be a sucessful lady, you gotta work like a dog. :) I'm gonna do just that! woking on the 90% of invisible, and the fruit of it will only show as 10%. Hence, if i want my sheep to be really great people in life, i gotta build them a 110% at least, so that they can hit their 100%! :)

Love,
Hannah
AnEBFG

exceedingly abundantly

God is indeed doing exceedingly abundantly all i ever ask think or imagine of.

Yeah, life has been great. how bad could life ever be with God around amen? haha, just wanna talk about the awesome preaching Pst Bernard spilled with us on friday evening and i so look forward to sunday's session! hurray to the optimal, cos i'm on HOPSI! :) close encounter with such a man of God. Thank God. Besides, he is really phenomena! Think about it, so up there in the world, Chancellor of some woohoo association, advisor of one of the richest man in the world! God has indeed blessed this man. i never regret running this race in God. Goodness, i'm so excited, i don't think i can sleep anymore. Life is really on the mundane, but yes, i will live on. :) a higher purpose, and a higher calling in life. One day when i grow up, my life is gonna touch and impact much much more people in this generation. I may be simple and young now, what i own might not attract people, but what i possess certainly draws the crowd to amazement. I'm a princess, mind you. There's no limitation to what and who i shall be. heh heh, a succesful multi billionaire who also serves in church, part time worship pastor, and counselor. :) then,i can also bless so many people when i am blessed. I will fly around the world assisting my pastors in their work internationally, and i will begin to reach out to the people of the nations even further. Therefore, i'm running on this exciting journey in life! God makes life exciting for me!

i may not have what others have, i certainly have what i need. :)

God is good all the time, i love Jesus! love people, love life.

Love,
Hannah
AnEBFG

Esther. a note for you.

To my childhood and certainly beloved sister -Esther.

Here's what i want to tell you if you ever come across this entry.

First and foremost. I've read ur blog entry that reads: on a firm stand.(8July)

i have to say, you're getting better at your english. On another hand, it took me awhile to comprehend the words u used, tone, and all to understand what exactly ur plight is. Of course, God alone is one to judge. But on the other hand, have you ever considered that God is a good God and He certainly want us to be mentored and guided by people that are above us? Yes, sometimes we do get disappointed with them, but i still think that they do deserve a fair bit of respect from us.

Next, i should be one of which "people you used to see on sunday mornings", frankly speaking, peoples' judgements should'nt hold a thorn to you if you really are not as they think it is. Of course i'm not saying that they are perfectly fine and right to judge you, but i feel that sometimes we ourselves should think about ourselves -the way we present ourselves that imply certain indications of who we are on the inside can be given away through how we present ourselves on the outside -smth i learnt since i grown up. It may not be literal, but it certainly is visible. Especially through the way you speak and release words and the approach you take in handling your current circumstances. From this point of view, YOU CERTAINLY NEED HELP.

THINK AGAIN. Are u really seeking God? we know it ourselves best, i care not to spell-it-out. Because i still believe in your genuine need for God to move in your life.

You know you said that it saddens your heart to see a leader taking things into hand in a childlike manner, firstly, its one thing to take it in a childlike manner, its another to take it in a CHILDISH manner. Yet, it saddens me even more to witness this sight of the current you which spurs me forth to write this entry. Whatever ordeal you were referring to i will not pry to understand but i do hope you do come to ur senses what i'm trying to interpret here.

Look, I do agree that whomever you're trying to target this message to in this paragraph, you might have lost your respect. But have you ever considered that respect is reciprocal? Let me honestly ask you, do you really respect yourself in the first place? and, how many people in your life truly respect you. If you have a conscience and would think about it carefully, being respected for you are and being respected for what you are are 2 different response and reaction and it definitely relates differently. And, if you are receiving the same kind of response from people around you, who genuinely care for your welfare, then, maybe the problem really does lie with you.

Also, i definitely beared in mind before typing this. That is i certainly practice what i preached. That is what makes me able to tell you what is on my heart. Yet, it is not lecturing. And i say again, it is not a lecture. Even as i speak to you, i am learning and growing.

Dear me, your poor friend. Do you know one of life's greatest obstacles is to be misunderstood for the wrong purposes? Seriously, what benefit would it be if your friend were to save you from serious trouble rather than see you die? That benefit would only be having you alive. Please, think again. if your friend needs to give you excuses just to gain ur trust, then honestly, it just goes to show how you are as a friend yourself. People reflect the way they react as how you react.Understand?

Then, you thank God for showing u ur friend's true colours. Let me tell you honestly, everybody has a good and a bad side. But why does it have to be that when ur friend's with you, you see her bad side? And having said that, how has that made you stronger in anyway? by hardening your heart even more??? It definitely is against God's will to bring you on a spiral downwards.

Then, we go back to where you came from. Boy, why did you let ur shut mouth eat from within? You knew where all these were going did'nt you. Why did'nt you pick the right time to say the right things at the right time? than to say the right things at the wrong time which perhaps, has resulted in a big NO NO. Then, i ask you what exactly is wiser way of putting ur point through by voicing it on ur blog? Won't that seriously conjure more misunderstandings? Won't ur readers think of you as not being able to put it on a face to face basis? To me, people who resort to bloggers communication really are cowards. I mean, if you have to stoop to this level to tell people you are not happy with them, it just goes to show that you're not happy with them, but you can't tell them face to face because of some reasons. Well, i dunno what that is, but it certainly is not of a thing i would do to pose my attacks on.

Facts and logic? You need the TRUTH not those.

And who has labelled you atrociously as whatever is it? I certainly have not. I love you no matter what has become of you today, you're always that friend i grew up with playing swings, chatting, playing and all. Yet, one thing i need you to know, you are who you think you are. Nobody can ever label you if you do not accept their marks on your life. You be what you want to be because in life, these are just limitations, but if you choose to believe in God seriously, there'll be no limitations. Think about it seriously.

Honestly speaking, as a friend watching you, the thing about you is that you've never rally changed you see. Its just that you've been controlling yourself utmost emotions, suppressing it within in the past. There is an obvious difference between releasing it, and becoming wiser or mature, because if you were really mature and wiser now, the way you respond to the circumstances in your life, would be totally different. Yes, you may be an unique individual, i agree. But i bet a 100 times with you, if a matured individual facing the same plight as you, would have taken things differently, turning away from what i call, a cyclic pattern. Its a vicious cycle.

Think about it, if you're really not naive, blur and the old you, would you be where you are today? you probably would have walked into the destiny God absolutely planned for you.

For your information, the sun does shine all the time. I'm serious. Its clouds that comes in place that will block the sunshine from us. BUT, it is what that is within you that will cause you to fly above the storms that make you remarkable. On note, my advice to you, accept responsibility.

Finally, to end it off here, i do love you and hope the best for you. Whether this hits you hard anot, i do hope it shakes some sense into you. If i had not cared for you, i would'nt have typed this note. Catch my heart girl, i mean you well. This would not benefit me in anyway at all. Infact, being so busy in life, i don't have to entertain such a childish note from you. but as a matter of fact, i love you that is why i'm doing this regardless of what you may think of me. I could have slept in preparation of a powerpacked busy day tomorrow, but if i were to sleep and not do something, as a friend, i fail to hang out with you, even more, as a spiritual sister, i totally fail.

Let me tell you honestly, i believe in the power of God, and i strongly believe that God has placed you in my life for a reason. I have been praying for you recently above the countless names i pray on the list, you are one special one. Don't doubt my heart for you, but seriously think and consider before your next response. The lifetime of opportunity comes with an opportunity of a liftime. Won't you truly start to seek ur purpose and find ur place in God? you're smart, and a logical person, i believe you can make the right decisions in life. Above all these, i believe in you.

Love,
Hannah
AnEBFG

What a pleasant surprise!

Whoa.

It was totally mind-blowing to have Dr A R Bernard in our church today!! IT totally blew me away. jaw-dropped when he mentioned those theological features. I mean, i could go on listening and not getting tired of it. Besides, he is really the pst of a 30000 over member church.Mind you! He's only a part time pastor! haha. Inspiring indeed. Oh alright man, i'm so glad that the CEG has brokethrough attendance of over 60, indeed, we own half our faith target now, the our Cg has lighter burden! :) Alright, back to issues of the heart. this week, was'nt really as abundant as other weeks, but lo and behold, the future's always more amazing! I'm gonna go on preaching and talking about the wonders of God. :) That's my life calling i guess. See, i have completely yielded my life to God for whatever HE wants me to do for Him. Of Course God is a good God and He would want me to suffer voluntarily -sacrifice. A call to living an others-centred life. When i heard he dreadful news from Pst Kong,i knew that my heart would just sink at the thought of wanting so much to reach the other part of the world that is in need. There and then, i purposed in my heart, that i may not have gold or riches right now to bless that nation in need, but when i grow up, i will surely have my part in giving to these. Besides, i would also have the ability to go out into the lands where love is needed most. I would also be the hands and feet that Jesus needs for my generation of people in need. God will take the best years of my life and make it His, set forth to break it, mould it as according to His will, plans and glory that i will begin to multiply. In His kingdom, i will remain. In His empire, i will continue to grow as i continue to build. God is good all the time. He knows the desires of my heart and He knows what i need and what i do not need. The Lord is my shepherd i shall not want. But i will seek First His kingdom and His righteousness, that what i need will be added unto me.

Know yesterday, i made a trip down to Cineleisure to visit one of my sheep but she was'nt there. I took that opportunity to do smth else anyway. On my way home, i saw 2 person fighting beside the busstop. I guess this 2 persons were related by blood. They were punching and pulling each other's hair. Mind you, the guy looks younger than the female, but he punched her anyway. They were really rowdy, and i walked past them heart full of emotions welling within. I felt that i could dial for police anytime. In the end, i missed it, they stopped fighting and came to the bus stop anyway. There was a minor tiff after awhile, but it died off eventually. The woman boarded the bus and left while the man or boy just disappeared from the vicinity.

Know as i was observing both of them, i could just tell that they were'nt really educated people. But beyond that, i knew that i would never have a relationship that will end up like that. See, be it they were mother and son, or husband and wife, i never would want t use violence in my family. no doubt we may not get along well with each other sometimes,but i will commit and i make a pre-made decision here and now that i will not use violence to try resolving my issues. I think that it is really important that violence should never be induced into a family. The bible says that a gentle answer turns away wrath, and it takes two hands to clap. i would definitely heed the voice of God in any heated situations and not act on impulse should i ever get into serious circumstances with anybody next time. I will not let that happen in my friendships, furthermore my relationships with my family or anybody else. Also, that's why though sometimes when i seem 2b very violent, attempting to punch someone(for fun), i will nvr be ale to bring myself to hit the person hard cos its just not me to attack people. Even mum said that i've been like this since young. I'm a gentle kid. :) Thank God for that.

Also, i believe that God has a great destiny for me, why should i let them all lie in waste because of violence right? wisdom holds it that gentleness overwrites. :) Also, another important virtue i'll carry in life in any relationship i have especially with my future husband would be trust. No matter what, i will always trust and support my husband. :) I may eventually end up not marrying someday, but trust is essential in any relationship and that is what i seek to own. :) I TRUST YOU
:)

Love,
Hannah
AnEBFG