life

life
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Monday, November 10, 2008

Big girls don't CRY.

La da da da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter for my own protection baby To be with myself in center Clarity, peace, serenity
[chorus:]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry

The path that I'm walking, I must go alone
I must take the baby steps till I'm full grown, full grown.
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I forsee the dark ahead if I stay

[chorus:] I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside I need to be with myself in center
Clarity, peace, serenity Yeah

[chorus:] I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry

La da da da da da

Yeah, big girls don't cry. i collected my results today yeah, passed all H1 subjects and h2 Cse, failed my H2 Lit and econs. :) wells, not totally affected by my results though. I know that since the start it will be a tough ride through this year. and true enough it did'nt really go well the whole year through. The only enjoyable moments were the moments i got revelation from God, and the times i hung around ppl from church. yeah. I never felt so peaceful about retaining in my life before. i know that God has got the best plans for me. :)

Earlier as i showering, i was just thinking about my verdict and why i had'nt react the way i thought i should be reacting towards to. in my Spirit, God gave me a vision to run towards to. He said: " Hannah, though you might have retained countlessly, and this year has been a challenge of your faith, others may think and see it as a bad thing, but You are gonna run and fly from this moment on. you are going to be one used to glorify Me. You will be an encouragement to many around you, and to those who come around you."

I took it, and now i don't feel so bad about this at all. Although there are things i might have to face up to at a later stage, i have peace its all gonna go well. I know that my mum keeps thinking that my state is solely caused by my packed schedule of church activities. But honestly, i think its more than just that. God has it planned. there's no need to worry about. God has a wonderful future for me, and he knows what He's doing.

If you are there to read this mum, please know that it is not a co-incidence. Since the day you trusted me into His care. Your daughter is no 13 yrs old. Yes i might have made some lousy decisions in the past when i was immature, but also know that through all those is how i'm able to come into the promises of God. rmb that God is a faithful God, and He will not let anything go worng in our family since the day He said that He was your husband. Its not a lone thing He declared to you. being your husband meant that He would take care of us too.

I know that my schedule has got a lot of things, and sometimes its uncopable, but in the end, i still managed it pretty well did'nt i? If i did'nt start giving myself the chance to be busy, then in future, how am i going to cope the stress of a busy business person's schedule? if i have to keep relying on you to talk to my leaders and pastors about my inability to handle my time well, then when would i be given the chance to handle my life well on my own? I understand that you are my mum, and you are given the mandate to do certain things, i understand it, i totally know what it is, and that's why i honour and respect you. i give you the liberty to have my timetable and account to you for things that i know, understand, do and hear. But please understand that I'm no longer young anymore. I know what i can manage and what i can't. I know what i want and what in don't. i may not be able to understand certain things but i know that God is with me. Certain things are allowed by God. And many things i work by what i'm given to. I know clearly that i'm a person that works well by experience, and others can scrape through this time round, but i cannot, and i must not. because i know God has it planned out that i can shine like a butterfly at the end of it, for His glory. :)

i might have been fed up and upset a little when you said that you did'nt want to talk to me, but i 'm feeling alright now. Only God can make me feel this way. God is a God of peace, and as a disciple of Christ, i ought to settle things peacefully. i will do well for my A levels, don't worry. :) i love you mummy!

Hillsong United!!! The Stand Lyrics:
You stood before creation
Eternity in Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
And carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul to stand

So what can I say
And what could i do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand


So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
I'll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

FOREVER I WILL STAND ON GOD'S PROMISES, NO COMPROMISE

Love,
Hannah (TEN) 2.0

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Just wanna talk

Hey,

I'm now on the bus, and i just wanna tslk a little bit. I'm listening to this song from the movie enchanted, so close, and i really like it. A feel of romance. Somehow there's some sense of nostalgia,I kinda miss that feeling i have towards God. Still can remember the vision He gave me, the little girl sitting upon my father's shoulder, more than anything it was the message behind the whole vision that i really love, something form my father's heart. He said that He loves me and just like that little girl I see in that vision, its me. He will carry me upon His shoulder for the rest of my life. He will protect me. it does'nt matter that my physical earthly father don't want me. He wants me, and that's what honestly matter to me. I may not have a physical father, but I know i have God, my heavenly father, the greatest of all Creation. In Him, i shall not fear. In Him, whom shall i fear, whom shall I fear?

The second thing i want to talk about is the dream i had sometime ago. Everytime i listen to this song, i remember that dream. My prince, who held my hand in danced with me in the ball. I was a princess, but he loved me. he took my hand and held it tightly to his heart. That was of course, just a dream. But i'm sure if ever i were to have a husband, God would give me a prince who would hold me close to his heart, and his to mine. :)

My royal dream. I loved it. But above my love, God would be my first love. my number one.



Title So Close
Artist Enchanted (feat. Jon McLaughlin)
Album Enchanted Soundtrack (2007) , Track 4


You're in my arms
And all the world is gone
The music playing on
For only two
So close togehter

And when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams must die
So I bid mine goodbye
And never knew
So close was waiting
Waiting here with you
And now, forever, I know
All that I want is to hold you
So close

So close to reaching
That famous happy and
Almost believing
This one's not pretend
Now you're beside me
And look how far we've come
So far
We are
So close...

Oh, how could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?

We're so close to reaching
That famous happy ending
Almost believing
This one's not pretend
Let's go on dreaming
Though we know we are
So close
So close, and still
So far...

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Final Sunday!

Hi there!

Today was really a cool day. I mean, though its only about 1pm plus, for the last day of the week, i'm actually at home! :) Its been a long long time since i've actually stayed home on a sunday. Kinda miss the things that i do. Anyway, I brought Ro out for walk at bishan park 2 earlier on, my goodness! for the first time in my life,i've seen my dog so elated. So elated until he does'nt want to go home. I think i should bring him out more often. I mean if i could. Leonard brought his dog, so did dexter. Its kind of cute meeting them with their dogs. Its quite a cool thing to have a dog, and i thank God for giving me a dog. Though really, financially, i'm really not fit to keep a dog, but by God's grace and blessings, I could actually keep a dog, not a cheap breed somemore. :) Thank God for everything! hah, i wanna go sleep alreay so tired! slept at 3 plus this morning, reached home at about 2plus am. Because i missed my last bus!!!! so irritating. Haha. okok, cya again. :)

Pray for Ting wei's cousin's invitation, Angie's dad invitation, Cheryl's dad invitation, personal invitation to friends on Monday especially. okays, ttyl. zzz.

Love,
Hannah (TEN) 2.0