whoosh! blessings!

hey! i'm back again!
hahas, as usual, life has really been HECTIC!! rahs!!
hahas, but its okays, i love life. i love ppl, and best of all I love God.

I think its really cool to be who i am todayl. I mean, i may not be the richest person on earth, i may not have the biggest house in life, i may not have the best material possessions on but I have the best in the world, that is Jesus Christ! I have a great family biologically and spiritually, academically wise, I am still getting to know the people more. I think that I need to stand more on my conviction and beliefs. Only God can satisfy my soul. Well basically everyday of my life, you'll hear testimonies after testimonies. hahas, yesterday, qi yuan and i were at north point having late tea, before i rushed of for Bm at church. I think she really needs to be convicted. Though a majority of people may not like her, but i still love her as my friend. Seems like I got really blessed recently.

The other day, I was just asking God how much I shud give for building fund this season. He dropped a figure of $100 in my heart. It was a little challenging as I got my SOF late this month, plus mum only gave me $30 for my allowance, I was really distressed at the beginning of the month fearing I had not enough to pay for my notes as i did'nt want to keep asking my mum for money, plus, I know she's really tight in budget. How could i just keep askin for money?? besides, i was expecting a decrease in SOF bcos i spoke to merryl regarding SOF, but things turned out unexpected. During my struggling season was wen God put that figure into my heart. ALL I DESIRED a heart after HIS. It was a painful pledge, but i did it anyway.

I also burned all my bridges upon turning back, and just pursued further into God. I cried out day and night asking God to miraculously put money into my account since there was only $2++ left. Then, it never came, though i felt down, but it did'nt affect my relationship with God, I knew God was with me. this is what He gave me :

Do Not Worry
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.



Then, faithfully, I stuck on to my promises with God. you know that day after Ivan shared about speaking life, hope, and faith, I believe that I had sinned against God by speaking down to people. I decided to change my whole life and revolve it around Christ.

I jsut had random thought the other day. I was thinking about our purpose in life. I was just thinking if ever God will really be as the bible speaks about. Infact, this has been a question stuck in my heart since a long time, its just that I never thought of it again until recently. To me, God is real, if not, at least in my life. He speaks to me, and he assures me, but let's also not forget that God has enemies, they are the devils, evil sources against His will. well, what I'm really concerned about is that of the life after my death. YOU KNOW WHAT? I thought and thought and came to a final decision that is no matter what the world may do to me, I will never leave Jesus Christ for deep in my heart, Christ is real, he speaks to me, and He protects and converse with me. Sometimes we even joke. Who says god is boring??

Then, there's the thing that frightens me most. I think the thing that frightens me most is not anything but myself. I am most afraid that I would deny Christ in times of persecution. The other day I was chatting with Liling on the phone, she asked me a lot of things bout christianity, but the thing that hit my heart most was when she ask me if I were to deny christ when somebody threatened to kill me. I convictedly said NO> she called me crazy, but I knew that God was happy with my answer. the thing about it is that I was thinking if I can't even stand strong for Christ now, what made me so sure that I would stand strong for Christ in trials and tribulations??

The same goes for my outlook in life. I suddenly saw a relation between this and my life. If i can't even live life right now, what makes me so sure that I will live life right in the future? what makes me so sure that only after I become a leader, things will not be the same? what make me so sure that life will be enjoyable once i become a leader? I thus had a philosophy, call it whatever you want, but I now believe that it does'nt come later until you get it now. THUS, i'm striving so hard to love people life and God as I want to be part of that movement that builds God kingdom. Now, life may be good now, but no, its gonna get better tomorrow! even if circumstances are not smooth, It will and forever will be great bcos I have Christ.

Anw, I had in total, $90 blessing this month apart from the $30, and $150 of my allowances,bcos of PGSM and mum and aunt blessing. Alright tell ya more again! Maths!!!!